Donald Howard Engelken, 89, passed away at home with his family by his side, on Monday, September 30, 2024, after a long illness. Donald was born in Paterson, New Jersey, May 3, 1935, the youngest of Minna and Frederick Engelken’s five children. He is predeceased by his siblings: Eleanor Willert, Frederick Engelken, Arthur Engelken, and William Engelken,
Growing up in a traditional German family, Donald attended St. Paul’s Lutheran School, where his maternal grandfather, Louis Luecke, was the principal. He graduated from Eastside High School in Paterson , where he was voted the Best Athlete in 1953. After a serious ankle injury his junior year of high school, Don’s opportunities to play basketball were few. When he was recruited to play basketball at a small college in Williamsburg, Virginia, Don accepted. The College of William and Mary became the opportunity of his lifetime. He excelled in the Southern Coast Conference, the forerunner of the ACC, as one of the last of the “Set Shooters.” If only there had been a 3 Point Line back in his day! Don often shared stories about playing against the greats of his time such as Jerry West, and he was always proud to be an Indian. In 1988, Don was inducted into the Athletic Hall of Fame at the College of William and Mary, an honor he cherished.
Don returned to Williamsburg in 1962 to earn his Masters in Education. He brought his bride and the love of his life, Gail, and they started their life and family together. While working on his advanced degree, Don worked closely with young patients from Eastern State Hospital. He often drove them in small groups to Jamestown Island via the Colonial Parkway, thinking that being in nature would be beneficial for these struggling children. Years later, while teaching junior high history in New Jersey, Ray Freed convinced Don to apply for the open Guidance Counselor position at James Blair High School and the now family of four returned to Williamsburg for good. It was 1968 and the newly integrated school system was adjusting. Tommy Richardson became a lifelong friend during this time, when they would walk the halls together to keep the students calm between classes. The opening of the Lafayette High School brought many teachers to the new school, including Don and Tommy.
During his tenure as Director of Guidance, Don helped many students realize their potential. He was an unassuming man with a warm laugh that put people at ease. Don was a great listener and always there for his family, friends and community. He spent several years volunteering for the Williamsburg Lions Club, the Williamsburg Community Chapel’s Children Ministry, the Gideon’s and as a student mentor at Norge Elementary School.
Don was first and foremost a family man. He met Gail, his loving wife, in New Jersey while playing semi-pro basketball after his college graduation. Very quickly, his focus shifted to making Gail the most important thing in his life—and she remained his treasure until his passing last week. Don was a “girl dad” before that had a name. He loved Cindy and Lizzie endlessly and was a gentle giant for his daughters. When his family grew to include grandchildren, he was always there for soccer games and as a dependable chauffeur during the school years. Grandad loved nothing more than a quiet afternoon reading, watching the Golf Channel, helping Gail in the garden and a family dinner. As his health failed, he was cared for around the clock by his wife Gail and his daughter, Lizzie, with frequent visits from Cindy who resides in New Jersey. He was a man of strong faith, who loved his Lord Jesus Christ, and is surely resting peacefully in God’s presence.
Donald is survived by his wife of sixty-two years, Gail Scott Hamilton Engelken, and their two daughters, Cynthia Wagner (William) of Wall, New Jersey and Elizabeth O’Connor (Timothy) of Toano, Virginia and his nine grandchildren, Dylan Wagner (Kristyn), Harrison Wagner (Carolyn), Mary Gibson Baker (Dan), Isabel Bucchino (Robert), Zelda Wagner, John O’Connor, Mary Grace O’Connor, Charles O’Connor, and William O’Connor. Don leaves behind six great grandchildren, Carson, Cooper, Bobby, John Elliot, SJ and Lucy, as well as many dear nieces and nephews.
The family will celebrate Don’s life privately, but you are welcome to honor him with a donation in his name to: The Gideon’s International, PO Box 6813, Williamsburg, Virginia 23188