Joy Marie Kitchen went to be with the Lord and join her beloved husband, Ernie Ray, on March 29, 2025.

Born in Duluth, Minnesota, Joy joined the Navy shortly after high school. This brought her to Norfolk, VA where she had her son, Brian Paul Bishop. Joy held many titles in her life, but her most favorite was being a mother and grandmother. Her approach to motherhood reflected her approach to life: to find the fun in everything, and to ensure her people knew how loved they were. Joy encouraged Brian Paul in all his endeavors. From buying a teenaged boy a drumset when he wanted to be a rockstar, to laying in the street so he could jump his skateboard over her, she supported every dream her son had. When Brian Paul was a young child he was mad at her and called her the worst name he could think of: Big Fat Mama With The Pizza Face. Joy, being the goofy and fun-loving person she was, embraced this as her new name and remained BFM to this day. Brian Paul loved his BFM completely and unconditionally, and will miss her immensely.

Joy married the love of her life, Ernie Ray, on Halloween of 2012. She loved his family as her own and jumped into the role of grandma seamlessly. Once Brian Paul’s children came along she became known as “Bella.” Her grandbabies were her greatest Joy in life. We are heartbroken that she will not physically be here to see them grow up, but they will know how much their Bella loved them.

Joy was a natural caregiver. It was not uncommon to see her delivering soup to her friends that were sick, being “local mom” to those who didn’t have their parents close by, or just sharing a laugh because she knew it would make someone happy. She held her community close to her heart. Not having much family in the area, her friends became her chosen family. She loved her people passionately and never hesitated to show it.

Joy’s family and friends are going to miss her incredibly. We are comforted in the fact that she has been reunited with Ernie Ray, for whom she grieved everyday since he left us. She is survived by her son, Brian Paul Bishop, and her “chosen” daughter Shae Bishop; stepchildren Melissa Ross and Marlena Gillum; and her grandchildren Chloe Joy, Beau, Graig, Jess, Aubree, and James. There are too many wonderful friends to list in entirety, but we know that her friends and community meant the world to her. Share a hug and kiss with the people you love, as we know Joy would have done for us.

A Celebration of Life will be held at Club 60, 9601 1st View St Norfolk, VA, on April 26th at 12:00pm.