Robert (Bob) Nicholas Brewer, Jr. left the body that no longer served his beautiful spirit in the early hours of April 4, 2018. His love of others and great sense of humor were on full display until shortly before his passing. He will be greatly missed, though he keeps reaching out from his heavenly home to remind many who love him that only his body has died; his spirit is alive and well and if we pay attention, who knows how he might remind us of his love—a song on the radio, a familiar smell, an answer that seemingly comes from nowhere at just the moment you need it.
Bobby, as he was known as a child, was the second child born to Bob (RNB, Sr.) and Bonnie Wiggins Brewer with whom he is now enjoying a beautiful reunion. His sister Linda, older by 15 months, tried to remain the only child by hiding him in a closet while he was in his Bouncy Chair but fortunately for all (including her) he was rescued by their mom. And in what foreshadowed who he was to become, he was laughing when Bonnie opened the door. His entire life Bob loved to laugh and to make others laugh as well.
Bobby was born in Chicago and despite leaving there when he was only three, remained a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan, as he moved around the world, first with his Army family and then during his own long Navy career. One of his final three wishes was to see the opening game this year and he was thrilled when it started with a home run and when they subsequently won the game. The other wishes also came true and within 24 hours of the last one he moved into silence as he prepared himself for his final journey. He had absolutely no fear about dying which has made it a little bit easier for his family to let him go.
After graduating from high school in Petersburg, VA where his parents moved after his father retired, Bob (as he then became known) joined the Navy and was soon stationed in Greece where he married his high school sweetheart (Mary) Dianne Bangs. They had two amazing children together, Robin Nicole Brewer and Tiffany Lynn Brewer, both of whom were with him when he took his final breath.
Although Bob and Dianne divorced in 1985 they remained friends until his passing. His last words, in fact, were telling Dianne he loved her.
Bob found love again with Karen Henline whom he married in 1987. Karen brought two more children into Bob’s family and in 1994 he formally adopted Nichole and Andrew, giving them his name along with his heart. Nichole’s children, Christopher, Amber and Madison and Andrew’s children David, Robert, Landon, Brayden and Mason, like all children, were a source of great joy to Bob. All five of Andrew’s boys visited Bob in the hospital just hours before he began his final silence and it made his heart sing.
After retiring from the Navy in 1993 Bob began a new career driving 18 wheelers and traveling much of the East Coast. He eventually left the road to become a driving instructor at Tidewater Community College, where he loved telling his sister that although she had a Master’s Degree and he only a high school education, HE was the one who was a college professor.
In 2006 he attended Wave Church for the first time at the request of Nichole who invited her parents to attend her baptism. This was a major turning point in his life as he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. He was on the brink of death when, with God’s help and the support of Wave’s Regeneration ministry, he was able to turn his life around after the toll that many years of excessive drinking had taken on his body and his family.
One of the happiest days in Bob’s life came in 2007 when, sometime after his own baptism, his wife Karen, former wife Dianne and daughters Robin and Tiffany were all baptized together in the Atlantic Ocean. Not many people attend church with their current and former wives at the same time, but that kind of loving family is what Bob created. No one was ever thrown out of his big heart and he was never happier than when he was with other people.
After Karen’s passing, Bob eventually retired and spent his time being with others as much as possible. His days began with breakfast at “Margaret’s” with the crew of friends that breakfasted there. He moved on to several hours with another group at Starbucks. If he didn’t meet someone for dinner (often his kids and their friends), his dear neighbor Cheryl and her husband Bob would invite him over or bring him a plate. Bob’s generosity of spirit that was present most of his life came back to him multiplied by all the love and caring that others demonstrated for him. He remained close to cousins from his childhood, his military colleagues, friends from his trucking days, his church family and many others he made part of his extended family through the years. His passing leaves a huge hole in many hearts.
While Bob had innumerable special moments with each of his children a few come to mind. Nichole’s own conversion and her desire to share her baptism with her mom and dad, led to a change that literally saved Bob’s life. When nothing was tempting him to eat, Andrew, who is a wonderful chef, brought a delicious cheese lasagna to the hospital and Bob ate two helpings. It was the last food he ate. In the week before he died, Tiffany’s boyfriend Gary, came to the hospital to ask Bob if he would give his blessing for him to ask Tiffany to marry him. Bob was so happy to know that Tiffany would have Gary as the man in her life, when Bob could no longer fill that role. And Robin, who shared Bob’s love of the Cubs, was the one by his side when they won the World Series and it remains her favorite memory of her dad. He used to say that after that night he could die a happy man. We’re glad he waited a bit
His family is so grateful for the wonderful staff on Sentara Princess Anne 5A and the Palliative Care team who cared for Bob and for his family in his final days. They lifted us up when we were struggling, cared for Bob as if he were their own family and made the unbearable bearable with their love and support.
A memorial service will be held Saturday, April 14 at 1:00 pm at Wave Church, Seaboard Campus, 2655 Seaboard Rd., Virginia Beach, VA 23456. In lieu of flowers family requests donations to the American Cancer Society or another Cancer charity of your choice.
In place of any home visits, a reception will be held at the church following the service for those who wish to pay their respects to the family.